Navigating the Supermarket Aisles

I wish I had this flowchart with me last night when I grocery shopped.  I ended up with ice cream (a gallon of which cost more than a gallon of gas, by the way, and will get much less mpg going from the freezer to my butt), pudding snacks for my husband (they are not real food according to the flowsheet but I didn’t know it then, and it’s for him, for cripe’s sake, so who cares) and toilet paper.

Crap, the ice cream turned out to be “not food” as well.  And it is possible the toilet paper was, at some point, alive.  Dammit.




Filed under General Mumblings, humor, Uncategorized

27 responses to “Navigating the Supermarket Aisles

  1. Like flow chart, but the problem is you could go back a week later and all the goods have been moved 🙂

  2. I’m going to use this flowchart for all of my aisle wandering needs.

  3. Love it, I’m not different in Shopper’s Drug Mart. Always end up with everything that wasn’t on my original list.

  4. Val

    “it’s for him, for cripe’s sake, so who cares” Love it!! 🙂
    Other half shops, so if there are any temptations I just get to eat them not feel guilty for having bought ’em!

  5. Thanks, glad you like it.

  6. Was it at least chocolate ice cream?

    • No, it was not – I share with the dog, she can’t have chocolate. Plain old vanilla for us. Thank you so much for coming by. I love your blog, by the way, and will be waiting for your book.

  7. Even with the best of intentions in using the flow chart I keep ending up in the “eat at your own risk” aisle. Why do bad things give me sooo much gastronomic pleasure?

    Funny post 🙂

  8. I laugh in the face of anyone who deems ice cream as ‘not food’. Mwahahahahaha! Then, I raise a pint of Ben & Jerry’s to ’em and say, “Cheers!”

    • It was the “…more than 5 ingredients…” that pushed it out of the real food category. I thought about you when I bought the ice cream, when I ate the ice cream, and when I posted this. Cheers.

  9. Ice cream not real food? OMG and I have been feeding it to my grandsons for yearsx now. Guess the food police (or some such) will be onto me now.
    BTW thanks for subscribing to my blog. Love yours too. 🙂

    • I know – it seems almost blasphemous, does it not? I’m sure the grandkids will be fine. I give my dog a spoonful and if she doesn’t keel over, I eat the rest of the container….

  10. That looks nothing like my supermarket floor plan. The sneaky buggers Down Under, like to put the real food right at the back of the store so you’re tempted by all the bright shiny packaging of the impulse comfort food before you get to the “now” less than appealing frozen chook! Heavy sigh!

  11. Very enjoyable post. My thing is since they seem to continually move everything around (at least in Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods here in L.A.) that i end up walking around like an imbecile looking for what was there just the other day. Keep on navigating girl.

    • Seems that is a global phenomena. I think they believe if they keep you in the store longer (searching for your favorites) you will spend more money. Bastards.

  12. Hmmm… must make copy of chart. Might then sit down and cry in middle of aisle. Apparently if we venture out of meat and produce, we’re in the Non-Food Section. No, wait… dairy. (Latin ingredients are good in yogurt. Bacteria, etc.) Too bad that will kill me with cholesterol and/or fat, and sodium sometimes. Here’s my total score when it comes to “whole foods”: butter. Butter is a real food, and I shall eat it always, instead of various other concoctions masquerading as butter but really existing in close cousinhood with plastic.

    • Butter is REAL FOOD!!! YAY. Let’s celebrate. I remember reading that Susan Butcher, the famous Iditarod musher (you know her, right?) carried pounds of butter on the trail which she ate STRAIGHT from the wrapper, in order to get the required calories needed for the long days of dog mushing. I love butter, but I don’t think I could do that. Thanks for coming by.

  13. Nail on the head! Your 5 ingredients cut-off is VERY good advice even if you had to take your tongue out of your cheek for a moment… The real food is on the outside aisles of most supermarkets and the rest of it bears more resemblance to toilet paper or dog food than anything we should be eating

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