I wish I had this flowchart with me last night when I grocery shopped. I ended up with ice cream (a gallon of which cost more than a gallon of gas, by the way, and will get much less mpg going from the freezer to my butt), pudding snacks for my husband (they are not real food according to the flowsheet but I didn’t know it then, and it’s for him, for cripe’s sake, so who cares) and toilet paper.
Crap, the ice cream turned out to be “not food” as well. And it is possible the toilet paper was, at some point, alive. Dammit.