It’s in His Kiss

Guest Author Shelby The Wonder Shepherd

Today my very intelligent dog, Shelby the Wonder Shepherd, will be answering a few questions from the mailbag.

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Dear Shelby:

How can I know if my husband really loves me.  I mean, I know he says he does, but he also tells me I’m not fat, so how can I believe him?

Sleepless in the Sunshine State

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 Shelby says:

Dear Sleepless.

Mom?  Is that you?  Really, you have to hover over me on my first assignment like some kind of helicopter?  Jeesh…I should have known.  We don’t even own a mail bag.

Since you asked….

Remember when we went away for 7 weeks and then Dad had to go to work before we made it home?  He left you that banner that said Welcome Home?  I know it looks like a post-it note, but he did use 2 exclamation points.  That’s love.

Doesn’t he always tell you that the roses you buy for yourself each week, from Al the Flower Guy, are pretty?  Doesn’t he keep his comments to himself about how he could have bought a six-pack with that money you spend on the roses each week? That’s love.

Doesn’t he eat your homemade soups every day, day after day, without complaining?  That’s love.

Doesn’t he get frisky every time you are exhausted, sweaty, irritable or busy reading, writing, ironing or talking on the phone?  Showing interest in someone who isn’t the least bit agreeable to it – that’s love.

Doesn’t he keep the gas tank filled in your car?  Sure the cashiers at the filling station think he’s adorable, thoughtful and has a cute butt.  Sure he buys himself a couple extra lottery tickets, a 20 ounce and 3 Snickers bars while he’s there (and takes it out of your spending money).  That’s love.

And most importantly, doesn’t he keep your dog’s poop cleaned up in the yard?  That is REAL love, baby.

EASY SCOOP - Dog Pooper Scooper

The true test, though, as Cher will tell you – it’s in his kiss.  You know, the kiss he gives you every morning, every evening, every time he leaves the house, every time you leave the house, every time he passes you in the house, at every stop light in the car, every time you stop moving and even when you don’t?  It’s in his kiss.

Leslie Allen Fine Art - Couple Kiss

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Dear Shelby:

I think my wife is having an affair with Al the Flower Guy.  How can I find out without following her to the flea market where she claims to be buying roses each week?

Suspicious in the Sunshine State

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  Shelby says:

Dear Suspicious.

Dad?  You two are pissing me off.

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17 Comments

Filed under General Mumblings, humor, Uncategorized

17 responses to “It’s in His Kiss

  1. Clever post and all so true re: how he loves me. But rather than a pooper scooper, he cleans out the kitty litter box. “That is REAL love.”

  2. Lisa (Woman Wielding Words)

    Sweet.

  3. Shelby rocks. She’s one smart dog, and I took notes. (smile)
    This was very cute, K8. This post was also a nice reminder of what is real love. Thank you for that reminder.

  4. Brilliant. Good that you realize all those things… er, I mean, good that Shelby realizes all those things and is able to type.

  5. Shelby has the sweetest face. Animals get too me. continue…

  6. Shelby has the sweetest face. Animals get to me. continue…

  7. Shelby is one smart cookie (err, dog, that is). Changing the subject, aren’t you glad you will miss out on Irene. Maybe Shelby helped with the weather too.

    • We like to think she is a genius. I am very relieved that we will likely miss out on Irene, but I have relatives in South Carolina – doesn’t look too good for them. Thanks for stopping in.

Talk to me.

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