What the He!! is Wrong with…


Seriously.  I went to the pool today for my waterjogging session.  The sweet ladies of the water aerobics class were just wrapping up their class and the group stayed in the water, chatting.   One by one they drifted out of the pool until just 2 senior ladies and the instructor were left.  The instructor stated she was selling her sporty convertible because her grandchildren were coming to live with her.  I happen to be looking for a sporty convertible.

The instructor left the pool and stretched out in the breezy sunshine for a little tanning.  I really wanted to ask her about the convertible but I AM TOO SHY to approach a stranger.  Yes.  Shy.

If someone approaches me, I am thrilled to talk.  Although it might take me a little while to really warm up, I AM friendly.  It does take me a long time to develop friendships (because I take them very seriously) but I am not unfriendly.  In situations where interaction is expected (transacting business with tellers, cashiers, co-workers, etc) I am perfectly capable of conducting conversations.

But approach and talk to someone I don’t know?  Probably not going to happen.  If I were stranded on a desert island with a person I don’t know – I would likely wait for that person to approach me before I would be able to speak to them.  Sad.

My husband knows no strangers.  He can strike up a conversation with anyone, any where, any time about anything.  I admire that about him.  But I cannot do it.  As a child, I had no friends, and very few as a teenager.  I rarely spoke in the classroom, unless called upon, and even then it was torturous for me.  On the playground I watched classmates and THEIR friends from the sidelines.  On the schoolbus I usually read a book or worked on my homework.

As a young wife and mother, I concentrated on my family and job in my little world and, rarely, if ever, reaching outside my little cocoon for interaction with humans.  It isn’t that I didn’t want to, I just didn’t know how.  The thought of initiating a conversation with someone I don’t know still paralyzes me.

So today,  I worked up my nerve and climbed from the pool, approached the aerobics instructor sunning herself on a lounge chair, and introduced myself.  We talked about her car, her grandchildren, and her daughter, whose deteriorating health necessitates moving the grandchildren into her home.  We had a lovely chat.  She agreed to show me her car after I showered and changed.  We met in the parking lot later and continued a nice conversation.  I may not even seriously consider buying her car, but I am so proud of myself for even approaching her.

Imagine this swimwear is flesh-toned!!!

Secondly, what the He!! is wrong with the sexy senior swimmer in the flesh-colored Speedo?  While his physique is truly impressive given his age (probably at least 65), his choice of swimwear pretty much guarantees a great many second looks!!!





Filed under General Mumblings, humor, Uncategorized

32 responses to “What the He!! is Wrong with…

  1. My husband is like yours. I envy so much the rapport he has with EVERYONE. And sometimes I am even patient while he talks to strangers (but not usually.)

  2. I know, I am envious as well. I am going to work on my shyness – maybe initiate a conversation with a stranger at least once a week. I am emceeing the Writers’ Group Open Mike this week, so that will bring me out of my shell a lot – I’ll have to talk with lots of people I don’t know (yet).

  3. I used to be shy like that, even though my work required me to reach out. But now (well after-fifty) I seem able to approach others. Good for you, though!

    • It seems so silly…what is the worst that could happen? Someone tells me to go away? Glad you were able to overcome. I guess, since I have moved so far away from the people who have known me for years, and virtually everyone is a stranger now, I’ve really come to realize how ridiculously painful it is for me.

  4. Good for you for overcoming your shyness!

  5. nice bathing suit…he’s not shy. continue…

  6. Well, that is not the actual man I saw, but looked a lot like that – and his Speedo was actually flesh-colored. It was bizzare, indeed. I think he’s probably not shy, going to the pool like that…

  7. I don’t know if it is a factor, but for me, age really helped with shyness. I say stuff now that would have horrified me 10-20 years ago. It will come.

  8. Based on this post, you and I are similar, K8. Though I did have friends in school, I didn’t have many. And the friends I had were the leaders, if that makes any sense. Rarely did I ride the bus or read a book. BUT – the rest of what you said is all me.
    (And, my husband is the same way as your husband.) My Mom said one reason she married my Dad was because he was so friendly, he’d make friends with the gas station attendant. Well, gas station attendants are a thing of the past, but my husband could to the very same thing. He makes friends with the pizza delivery guy. That counts, right?

    Good for you for walking up and talking with her.

  9. I’ve always worked in positions where I’ve had to be social and extroverted (economic development & banking) and I think you have it correct. One thing working with people has taught me is to appreciate my dog and covet my cat’s life.

    • I also have to be extroverted at work, and I can pull that off. I can hold my own in any situation where I am required to interact. It’s those “optional” situations (talk first/don’t talk at all) where I face anxiety.

  10. I always say that my husband seems very friendly on first acquaintance because he could not care less what anyone thinks about him, and he really does not understand (or care) what makes people tick. So, that may be a convenient personality trait, but it is not really particularly admirable. On the other hand, the more admirable trait is not so convenient for the owner – someone who CARES what others think, and UNDERSTANDS all too well what makes them tick.

    So, don’t worry about changing, unless you really want to.

    • Oh, my husband really does care – he is interested in people and where they are from, where they have been, what they have done, and where they are going. It is just a natural thing for him to start up a conversatioin.

      I think I do want to change, mostly because I would like to have some friends here (we moved about a year ago) and that is just not happening.

  11. tsonoda148

    I am more like your husband in that I talk to anyone and everyone. That, too, has it’s ups and downs, as I have opened myself up to a few hurtful situations. Over the years, I’ve become a bit more shy because of it.
    Proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone! Love the baby pic up top. So cute! As for the sexy senior citizen guy……UGH. I used to live in Hawaii and ‘those guys’ in ‘those speedos’ were abundant. Sadly. What’s wrong with a pair of Aloha surfer shorts, guys? They cover your ‘stuff’ and go great with a tan. Sheesh! LOL

  12. You see, there is something I’ve learned about people: we have this little switch in the brain called an “internal appropriateness sensor.” For some people, the switch works just fine; for others, there is a serious malfunction. You know these latter types when they say the most outlandish things to you our, as in your lovely story, a buff octogenarian sports a flesh-colored Speedo and struts his shriveled stuff like he’s Mark Spitz in the 1970s.

  13. Hahaha … I’ve seen many of those men at the beach. I used to live on Harbor Blvd. only two blocks from Port Charlotte beach. I saw many, many of these men. I think they are European. They wear speedo’s there. I have a friend from Austria who visits and swims in our pool in a speedo. It’s hard to know where to look even if they have a GREAT body – it isn’t the body your eyes gravitate to. LOLOL

    • Yes, they seem to be everywhere…the Speedo itself was entertaining, but honest to God it was nearly the same color as his tanned physique. Awkward…

  14. Steve

    Like many of the those commenting, I am painfully shy like you. I doubt I would have been able to approach the instructor. I can chat with folks and sometimes am dying for someone talk to but cannot get over my anxiety to approach a stranger, or even an acquaintance, and strike up a conversation. You made a big step that I will try to use to inspire me to do the same. Cool for you!

    • Anxiety is just the feeling I was trying to describe. I think, because I moved so far away from the people I have hung around with for 30 years and am often out and about by myself that the shyness has reared its ugly head again. Thanks for stopping by.

  15. I am also shy, but have to talk to many people every day through my work. I often have to talk to them about very difficult subjects. I just get worn out from talking to people in general. But one rule I have always found that is true….all you have to do is ask one question. The other person will take it from there. Then you can ask followup questions if you’d like, or just pack it in and go back to your book. Never fails in my experience.

    • I think you are right – just one question is a great starter…it can either take off from there or go in any number of directions. I’ll remember that.

  16. Rock on for starting that conversation! I’m often described as a “social butterfly” (which is funny to me still since I spent so many years haging on people for simply existing, even though those days are gone), but today found one of those days where it just wasn’t happening. I was grateful when a lady at services saw me standing by myself and came up to introduce herself and her daughter.

    Reading about you and your husband reminds me of my godmother and her husband, who died of Cystic Fibrosis when I was in 5th grade. My godmother is quiet and somewhat reserved to my godfather’s wildly gregarious ways. I used to think that was weird, but my mom used to tell me that’s why it’s good to have a partner with different strengths. You get a chance to experience the world a little differently. Which I get much, much better now than I did at ten–fancy that! 😉

    • I am glad the woman and her daughter introduced herself. I do wish I were more of a “mingler” at events and functions, guess I’ll really need to work on that. A work in progress, indeed.

  17. Nice post! Interesting that you should consider the concept of being shy! I find it hard to understand shyness; I am principally a confident person and if you were to ask my friends or family they would all describe me as confident and I am perfectly comfortable to approach someone and start a conversation with them when others wouldn’t.
    However, I do still have moments when I am ‘shy’ yet there doesn’t seem to be any reason why I am ‘shy’ on those occassions compared to others?

    One thing I do believe, however, is that anyone can overcome their shyness, it may take time and its best tackled when someone is a child/teenager but I believe it is possible with the right support etc for everyone to overcome shyness (not to say that shyness is a bad thing – for some it is an endearing feature of their personality!).

    An interesting blog; I look forward to reading more.

    • I am so much better than I used to be – I am not terribly shy if someone else starts the conversation, and I can stand in front of a classroom and teach. I think shyness is an endearing trait (but somewhat frustrating, for me).

  18. I am working through my shyness, too. It takes courage. Good for you. Also, the guy wearing that bathing suit wants the second looks.

  19. JudyK

    Great quote by Jonathan Katz:
    “Scientists have found the gene for shyness. They would have found it years ago, but it was hiding behind a couple of other genes.”

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