On Saturday Sweet Cheeks and I took Shelby to an outdoor establishment for live music, dinner and adult beverages. Shelby loves this kind of outing, except that applause confuses her. We clap our hands when we want her to return a thrown ball. When everyone starts clapping, she gets annoyed that none of the stupid humans thought to bring a ball for fetching. This place also has a doggie menu, but we didn’t order the filet mignon for her. She is spoiled, but not that spoiled!! They gave her treats and a fresh bowl of water.
Anyway, after disembarking from the vehicle on the way to the establishment I must have stepped in an anthill. A fire ant hill. I had walked about 15 feet when the agony began. The nasty little bastards were swarming over my slip-on sneaker and were biting the hell out of my ankle. I may have even said a bad word or two (or ten). I whipped off the shoe and proceeded to brush them away. When I was sure the little buggers had all been killed or returned to their earthly home, I replaced my shoe and with as much dignity as I could muster (and believe me, it wasn’t much) I proceeded to the establishment.
I am not much of a drinker, and I can usually pace myself pretty well. That first drink, though, had me feeling loopy almost immediately. I don’t know if it was the ant venom, the adrenaline, or both, but after a couple more I was pretty quickly reduced to a fluid mass of relaxation.
However, I was enjoying the music, the fresh air, and showing off my dog. Until she decided to investigate another canine and pulled me from my folding chair to a prone position on the ground within a matter of seconds. I didn’t even see it coming. Fortunately, neither the other dog, nor I was hurt (like I would have felt anything!!!).
I only just barely remember taking this picture before we left.
I got home and my foot continued swelling, my buzz was fading, and I realized that my left leg, from the knee down – was on fire. I had probably 30 bites – mostly on the ankle and shin. And the bites both burned and itched intensely. A couple of benadryl and I fell immediately asleep.
The next day the itching and burning intensified. Cortisone cream only seemed to magnify the maddening burn and the nerve endings screamed for relief. Massive doses of benadryl kept the itching at bay but made me groggy and thirsty. I found a couple of bruises I must have gotten from my impromptu meeting with the ground.
Today I went to work wearing a pair of shoes carefully chosen to allow for swelling, oozing and general disgusting-ness. My foot looks like a big fat blob and my toes like little sausages. I will spare you the actual picture, but here is one of a leg with many bites – mine are much more swollen and irritated – I would probably die if I had that many bites.
I am hoping the swelling will go down soon. Or that my foot will fall off. Either way, I’m good.
- Fire Ants are evil (yasorusproductions.wordpress.com)
- Ants, Ants, Ants (3twistedsisters.wordpress.com)
- The Ants Come Marching Ten by Ten, Hurrah Hurrah! (redefininggood.wordpress.com)
- Fire Ants (coastalpc.wordpress.com)