I Am a Big Crybaby (and I swear a lot)

Photo courtesy of ask.com

(some of the swear words have been changed to protect your innocence).

In my lifetime I have had to deal with some pretty painful things….childbirth, kidney stones, migraines, shingles, neuromas in both my feet that made every step I took an exercise in torture.  But right now I have an injury that is killing me….just killing me.

I have an injured pinky finger.  Not broken, but sore as hell.  It was a freak accident.  I was driving and my pinky got caught in the steering wheel while I was expertly executing a turn.  I may have said a few choice words at that time.

1928 Packard 433 Runabout. On display at Fort ...

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In true nurse fashion, however, I did not seek medical attention when it swelled, turned purple, and throbbed for days.  When the bruising and swelling was gone, I assumed I was on my way to recovery.  Wrong.

Do you know how many times a day you call your pinky finger into action?  My day starts something like this….

Alarm clock….(I’m already awake, but that post has already sailed)…throw off the blanket…Ow…darn it, I forgot and grabbed with my right hand.

Turn the doorknob to let the dog out….Ouch, fudge…forgot again.

Make coffee – pour water from gallon jug (our water tastes like crud and makes the worst coffee) Dammit, forgot again…can’t grasp and lift for sure.

Coffee’s done – grab the pot – Damn, that hurt, almost dropped the pot…

Coffee’s poured – pick up the cup.  Shit.  Ow.  Damn.

I have been up for about 4 minutes and I am swearing like a sailor over this “&(*&%$%$” pinky finger.

Finally (oh, about 2 months after the inital injury) I seek medical advice.  No fracture Doc S. says, but probably a strained ligament.  Needs rest.  Tape it to the next finger.  If it’s not better in a couple of weeks, ligament could be torn, probably looking at surgery to repair.  Splendid.

So, after about 4 days of taping, the finger is feeling a little better.  I do remove the tape to type, sometimes to cook, and take it off at night.  It has to be replaced every time I wash my hands (or about 100 times a day – I am nurse and slightly germophobic).

So those of you who usually get a handmade ornament or other handcrafted item for Christmas – please forgive me.  I can’t stand to hear myself swear anymore.  Fortunately, I can drink with my left hand – so I can still enjoy holiday cheer.



Filed under General Mumblings, humor

32 responses to “I Am a Big Crybaby (and I swear a lot)

  1. Perhaps you need to swear MORE. It’s always worked for me.

  2. I would swear for you, k8edid, but I’ve sworn off swearing. But if it helps: darn it, suffering succotash, heck and high water, double-dang it. Apply as needed. Your faithful reader.

    • Thanks for your efforts. I really wish I could swear off swearing. I’ve only been able to give up the f-bomb so far (not that I used it alot). I guess that’s like giving up beets for Lent when you don’t even like beets (or you’re not even Catholic).

  3. This is one of my favorite post-titles of all time, anywhere. Just fyi.

  4. I’m so chuckling because you sound like me. As nurses we admonish pts for lack of compliance and ignoring sx and then…I’ve been through a lot of health issues too but for me, the shingles pain topped post op kidney transplant. Right now it’s golfer’s elbow and I actually made an appt since in January I’m off to the desert to golf! Fun post, Katy. You do remind me of Lorna and I love the smiles you both bring.

    • Oh, Victoria – we are bad patients, aren’t we? I am sorry you have had so many health issues. I will agree, shingles have been the most painful thing I have had to deal with (and that’s saying a lot). I still have pain (7 years after the rash disappeared). I am going to do a post on the ordeal at some point.

      I am so happy to bring smiles – hope your elbow improves (and your game).

  5. Thanks for starting my day on such a funny note. I hear myself swearing more than ever I did, but as there is only my little dog to hear me I guess it’s OK.
    Fortunately, I haven’t had many health issues just minor things like strains but shingles has to be the all time worst pain known to man (woman). I used to ask my husband to cut off my arm some days when it was really so bad.

    • Ouch – shingles are the very worst pain ever. EVER. I have tried every known treatment with little or no success. Fortunately, after 7 years I have fewer and fewer episodes and I no longer beg people to shoot me. Glad I could start you day with a laugh.

  6. I’m a huge fan of this title, as well–especially since I swear a lot, even when I’m not injured. Sorry about your finger. Sorry especially to hear it’s impacting your crafting. That’s a damn shame.

    • I know, I was really trying to make a lot of ornaments (how I usually spend the weeks before Christmas – frantically trying to get enough made for all my family and friends…but had to admit defeat this year. I will e-mail a pic of one I got done before throwing in the towel.

  7. kba

    Your descriptions make me wince and smile at the same time – some feat! Hope your finger is better soon – glad it doesn`t appear to have affected your ability to click on a keyboard!

    • I do take the tape off to type, otherwise my right hand pretty much lays on the keyboard….it is not pretty. I found a nice splint at the drugstore this evening that I can slip on and off, so I won’t have to change the darned tape 100 times a day. It will be so much better….it is hard to wrap your right hand when you are right handed.

  8. Sorry to hear about your pinky finger injury. I rarely swear, but continuing to bump and bruise it would probably make me use a few choice words like “schizzel” and “foo-man-choo.” But it would have to be really bad. 😉

    • Oooooh, I’m going to use those….I haven’t been around my grandkids for a while and I’m afraid I’ll slip up. They don’t hear their Nanny swear at all.

  9. A nurse with a sore finger i have heard it all now surely you could cope better.
    Only kiding as usual 🙂
    Nothing as bad as a sore finger when your trying to work, its even worse than child birth 😆

  10. Kate, isn’t it amazing how no matter where it is on your body that you are injured you always manage to hit, or contact in some way, that very spot over and over again…and i’ve also had kidney stones…what an ouch that is huh? continue…

    • Kidney stones are really horrible…I would much rather give birth. And yes, I continue to bump the finger all day long and “forget” that I cannot grasp things with that hand. That is especially bad when I am cooking…

  11. But it’s got to get better by the time you go to Michigan. Whether it’s snuggling with the grandkids, baking for them or going out in the snow…what a bummer. So sorry…this is not fun, I can imagine.

  12. Sometimes the little injuries are the worst. Because you don’t even think you need that part. Then…surprise!

    • I know, over and over, I keep grabbing onto things. The gear shift handle in my Jeep is the very worst, and I forget every single time. The splint will keep me from grasping things with that hand, but I am worried about losing grip strength (and I won’t be able to arm wrestle, either.)

  13. I think you failed to mention a ‘healed pinky finger’ on your Christmas wish list.
    Whether battling insomnia at 2:30 AM or ‘nursing’ a hurt pinky finger, your sense of humor is intact. Frickin frackin good job!

    • Thanks, LD. I did fail to mention that on my list. Amazingly, the finger doesn’t hurt when I type, only when I close my hand around something or try to grasp and lift. Then it is awful. Maybe I should just spend my days typing away…..

      Thanks for popping in.

      • “Sorry, folks, my finger hurts too much to lift, or bake or do anything resembling work, but it’s magically OK when blogging.” Funny how that works.
        Hope you and all your parts are better soon!

  14. That sounds so painful! Good for you for finding the humor in it. I could see why you’ve been swearing. I swear when I’m not injured in the slightest. But at least you can blog, so all is not lost. It is amazing how much we take our bodies for granted until it’s hurting. I fractured my foot this year and was in hell forever with each step until I finally dragged myself in to get an X-ray. I had to wear a ridiculous ankle brace and steel plate orthotic in my shoe for 12 weeks and made sure to swear every change I had! Hope you feel better soon.

  15. I’m glad you were able to end your post on a positive note. Cheers!

  16. Pain is pain, no matter where it is. And vodka, thank goodness, is always as clear as a mountain stream. Glad you can still enjoy a drink!

  17. Childbirth, kidney stones and shingles? Please dear heavens tell me not all 3 at once. I’ve experienced 2 of the 3 and my husband recently had to have surgery due to a giant kidney stone. OUCH!! Hope the pinky is feeling better now.

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