Welcome to my pity party. Strap on this goofy party hat and a frown and let’s get down to it. Great. How about some appetizers? I made these delicious unhappiness chips – they go great with this self-loathing dip. It has melted crankiness and shredded self-esteem, with a pinch of bad attitude tossed in. Yummy, no?
Oooh, how about some party games. First we’ll play I Hate My Body, then a round of My Friends Live Too Far Away, and we’ll finish up with I Miss My Kids and Grandkids. Wait, wait!! How about “Pin the Blame for My Shitty Attitude on Someone Else”? My all-time favorite.
Then we’ll have the requisite party conversations. In the living room there is “They can’t figure out what’s wrong with my stomach/heart/psyche/back” talk. Here in the kitchen it’s “I’ve Gained Too Much Weight” but I continue to shove cookies/candy/chips/anything not tied down into my mouth. Over at the card table there is the “I know I’m lucky to have a job, but…..” discourse.
Then there will be the pinata. Nothing says fun like bashing the hell out of something. Here, I’ll take the first swing. Ahhhhhhh. It feels good to smack that sucker. Look at all these goodies falling out…….Noooooooooooo. Not goodies. This is MY PITY PARTY, remember?
Crap. This damned pinata is filled with goodies. Like pictures of gorgeous sunsets, reminders that I have a good job, a devoted husband, a great dog….enough money (yes!!!), a comfortable home, dependable transportation. Healthy children and grandchildren and the means to visit them. A relatively sound, although sometimes forgetful, mind. Talents, skills, and abilities. Fabulous friends (real and virtual). I have so much more than I deserve. So much more. Dammit, what a buzz-kill.
So here, let’s take off that silly hat, here’s your coat. Party’s over…thanks for coming….move along…take this tray with you…nothing to see here…nothing but smiles, blue skies, sunshine, and the realization that I’m only as miserable as I want to be – and I don’t want to be.