It’s My (Pity) Party and I’ll Wallow if I Want To

 

Welcome to my pity party.  Strap on this goofy party hat and a frown and let’s get down to it.  Great.  How about some appetizers?  I made these delicious unhappiness chips – they go great with this self-loathing dip.  It has melted crankiness and shredded self-esteem, with a pinch of bad attitude tossed in.  Yummy, no?

Oooh, how about some party games.  First we’ll play I Hate My Body, then a round of My Friends Live Too Far Away, and we’ll finish up with I Miss My Kids and Grandkids.  Wait, wait!!  How about “Pin the Blame for My Shitty Attitude on Someone Else”?  My all-time favorite.

Then we’ll have the requisite party conversations.  In the living room there is “They can’t figure out what’s wrong with my stomach/heart/psyche/back” talk.  Here in the kitchen it’s “I’ve Gained Too Much Weight” but I continue to shove cookies/candy/chips/anything not tied down into my mouth.  Over at the card table there is the “I know I’m lucky to have a job, but…..” discourse.

 

A nine-pointed star piñata.

Image via Wikipedia

Then there will be the pinata.  Nothing says fun like bashing the hell out of something.  Here, I’ll take the first swing.  Ahhhhhhh.  It feels good to smack that sucker.  Look at all these goodies falling out…….Noooooooooooo.  Not goodies.  This is MY PITY PARTY, remember?

Crap.  This damned pinata is filled with goodies.  Like pictures of gorgeous sunsets, reminders that I have a good job, a devoted husband, a great dog….enough money (yes!!!), a comfortable home, dependable transportation.  Healthy children and grandchildren and the means to visit them.  A relatively sound, although sometimes forgetful, mind.  Talents, skills, and abilities.  Fabulous friends (real and virtual).  I have so much more than I deserve.  So much more.  Dammit, what a buzz-kill.

Kenny vs. Mr. Bill (109/365)

Image by JD Hancock via Flickr

So here, let’s take off that silly hat, here’s your coat.  Party’s over…thanks for coming….move along…take this tray with you…nothing to see here…nothing but smiles, blue skies, sunshine, and the realization that I’m only as miserable as I want to be – and I don’t want to be.

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49 Comments

Filed under General Mumblings, humor

49 responses to “It’s My (Pity) Party and I’ll Wallow if I Want To

  1. God, can I relate to this–a good pity party just gets started and the merry-go-round outing comes calling. Damn happiness! Damn all those blessings when I want to moan!

    Great post!

    Kathy

    • I knew someone could relate, Kathy. I don’t know if it is just post-holiday-traumatic disorder or what, but I kept finding myself in a funk day after day and trying to ignore it. Better to call it out, face it head-on, kick its ass, and move forward.

  2. Yes, kick its ass. We all know you’re awesome. Do you? 😉

  3. I guess I have plenty to pity party about, but I prefer your attitude. No point in adding more negativity to the world when we can always find something to be thankful for and make the world a little bit better.

    Lee
    Blogging from A to Z

    • Lordy, yes…there is plenty of negativity to go around. I don’t have to look very far to find something, which is aggravating when I had my heart set on a good pity party…

  4. It’s me ole “Sunshine” over here…I wouldn’t miss your posts for anything, and if I missed one, I’m sorry…pity party, too joyous, too anything. Glad you’re home safely after Christmas. So glad you enjoyed those jammy parties with your precious grandchildren. Let’s just say it’s January.

    • No, you didn’t miss any – although Word Press has certainly gotten my “following” part messed up – some people I am notified twice, others not at all – even ones I’ve followed forever. I have just been quiet lately (some would probably say it is about time!!!).

      Visiting those grandchildren was the best Christmas gift of all…I soaked up every bit I could.

  5. Most brilliant pity party I’ve ever heard of, and made me stop in my tracks before I could get a good “Ugh. My love handles…” whine in 🙂

    • Glad you came to the party – now get those love handles dancing around with joy, Missy!!!

      Oh, I can’t believe I forgot to include music and dancing at my party…

  6. Ok, I know it’s a pity party, but I can’t stop laughing WITH YOU!!!!! Laughing at the malfunction of the universe is better than crying about it … 🙂

  7. Oh, how I can relate. I am struggling with this very thing the past few weeks, I think a lot of people are. I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster of emotions after the holidays. It takes some effort to refocus on what we DO have, doesn’t it? I need a huge swift kick to the ass lately, my depression is really sucking out all of the joy and humor in my life. Thank you for this post and reminding me it is totally up to ME to kick myself in the ass. (not sure if that’s physically possible, maybe if I do more yoga…)

  8. I sure am glad you remembered to bring the piñata.

  9. I’ll bring the whine next time. 😉 I have those moments, too. So long as I stop long enough to look at the pinata goodies raining down, I think it’s ok to indulge in a little pity party once in a while.

  10. a GREAT post. funny – no – even better -witty. yeah, i know what a bore it can be to be relatively happy. zzzzzzzz….love that the word “goodies” registered on your brain as: oh-oh a positive , i gotta watch that… eh? wonderful. continue…

  11. Hi Kate – My children always say that Pollyanna is alive and well and living in Wellington NZ but since I fell and fractured a bone in my foot, I have been less than my usual cheery self. Oh I know that there are so many worse off than me but a little self pity goes a long way. So now I say bring on the goodies from the pinata and we will all share them with you. And remember January only last 31 days and then you will be out in the sunshine again. 🙂

    • Oh, I am out and about in the sunshine….which was a paradox for me to ponder. I spent 2 weeks in Michigan where there wasn’t even a thimble-full of sunshine for the entire 2 weeks and it was cold, but my soul was warm, and nourished and content. My body hurt like the devil, but inside I was warm. Now I am back in Florida, in the almost too blazing sun, and my body is more content, but my soul is not fed.
      I pray you are healing and that your recovery will be swift.

  12. I had myself a brief pity party this weekend, and it lasted about as long as yours did. Once I slapped myself over the head for wallowing, I snapped out of it. There’s so much more suffering going on than I can even imagine. I have no reason to party for pity. Your post reminded me of that. Thanks for sharing Katy!

  13. Ha! Perfect post for the post-holiday let-down. Love the ending!

  14. Aw man, I wanted to stay at the pity party longer! Being happy takes too much work, K8. Five more minutes, please?!

    • All right, 5 more minutes, but then get your butt out (and take the rest of that dip, will ya?)

      It shouldn’t be work to be happy, but frankly, sometimes it does take a lot more effort. Carry on.

  15. I hate when I get to a party and all the pity-dip is already gone. I want me some of that!

    I know just what you mean – that general feeling of malaise with absolutely no good reason. You feel crappy, then you feel even worse because you KNOW you have blessing upon blessing upon cosmic gift and have absolutely no right to feeling dissatisfied.

    Good for you for turning those pity turds into bloggy gold!

  16. Wanting to be is the key, eh? Sometimes, though, you just want to be pissy. Nothing wrong with that. Who trusts a person who’s always happy? Not me. Something in their Wheaties, I suspect.

    • I think the “wanting” is key. I agree, terminally happy people are sometimes terminally annoying!!! As long as I can enjoy the great times and sunshine, a few clouds and funk-centered days are okay.

  17. Thanks for the party. I forgot to bring a hostess gift. And I agree, It certainly is a ticker when someone starts a laugh and brings in icecream and makes me forget what i was grousing about. “Doh”

  18. THAT was a good pity party! It doesn’t look right when I type it, but I loved the bit about your shredded self-esteem. 🙂

  19. Can my pity party hat be a sombrero?

  20. I was totally playing this game last night: “I Hate My Body.” Everything I put on made look and feel fat. But I’m feeling better today.

  21. I did that for awhile, and occasionally lapse into it but mostly I just do what you do and get on with it. That’s what stretch pants and the internet are for!

  22. This could be the first time I am glad to be late for your pity party. Hope you are planning a joyous party soon. But if not, we could have contest of pity-party treats. Whoever wins (or would that be loses), owes the other a plate of brownies. Are you in?

  23. I love it! And you’re entitled to a little party once in awhile. Just make sure that it doesn’t become a habit. You could always do what I do and visit the Land of Denial.

  24. Pingback: Pick Your Party | Living Thoreauly

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