1. I’m going to eat and drink whatever I want. Sure, I’ll pay for it, one way or another, but today is all about me and if a trip to the ER is in the picture, so be it. I’ve already had a gigantic homemade oatmeal raisin cookie for breakfast (YUMMY). So don’t try to get me to eat your sushi (again), lecture me about the chemicals in my Crystal Light (again), or make that face when you take my order for dinner and I order an appetizer, a meal (I won’t even begin to consume half of) and dessert. And wine.
2. On the drive to work, I am not going to let you merge when you stupidly stayed in the wrong lane for way too long. I am not going to smile sweetly when your diesel-fume-spewing out-of-state supercab pickup pulling a 40-foot 5th wheel pulls out in front me, filling both lanes. I am going to ram my vehicle into the side of your portable home because 1) you’re an idiot, 2) I have insurance, and 3) you piss me off because there is no one behind me and you could have waited the 15 seconds for me to pass.
3. At work I am going to clean my office because all week I’ve dealt with your unending stream of crisises and drama and my work has piled up. Deal with it.
4. I am not listening to any political ads, news stories, or conversations. I will point my real (or imaginary) remote control and click mute (and maybe leave it that way all day).
5. I am going to listen to happy music, look at pictures I like, and find inspirational reading – my favorite blogs, for instance!!! I refuse to have any serious thoughts today, so don’t even go there.
6. I’m going to act like it’s my birthday all day long, because, really it is and it’s ALL ABOUT ME.