You want fries with that?

Manet, Edouard - La Serveuse de Bocks (The Wai...

Sometimes, and I know you are going to be shocked by this revelation, I am overcome by dark moods.  I know, it IS hard to believe, isn’t it.  Sometimes these moods stretch over several days.  Again, I know you are finding this nearly impossible to comprehend.  But, alas, it is true.

Once, in the middle of one of these moods, I went out to eat with co-workers in an attempt to crawl out of my funk.  Our server (why can’t they be waiters and waitresses any more?) asked each of us in turn “What would you like?”  Just for a moment, my mood – foul and black – struggled for control.  As each co-worker placed their order, I sat thinking “What would I really like?”

“What I’d like,” I wanted to say “is a homecooked meal I don’t have to cook.  I’d like to sleep long, and late and uninterrupted – and then spend a day in my pajamas without having to be sick to feel entitled to do so.  I’d like to win the lottery and give every single penny away.  I’d like to live in a world where parents never hear ‘Your child has cancer.’  I’d like to watch the news and not feel like weeping.  I’d like politicians to shut up and do something, ANYTHING, but please shut up.  I’d like to sit in a rocking chair with an infant snuggled on my chest and rock them to sleep feeling their warm, moist breath on my neck.  I’d like to have a stranger (sober) pay me a compliment.  I’d like to wear killer heels just once more.  I’d like to read all day and make love all night – or vice versa.  I’d like to have long legs, hair and fingernails.  I’d like for my husband to know that he is as important to me as the air that I breathe.  I’d like a clean house, a dirty martini, and a stack of good books.  I’d like to go back in time and see my children’s faces the first time they tasted ice cream.  I’d like to hug a veteran, slap a pedophile, and tickle a toddler.  I’d like to be outgoing and happy and free from soul-sucking black moods.  I’d like an order of optimism with gratitude on the side.  And if it isn’t too much trouble, I’d like to see justice for all.”

What I said, when she got to me was “I’d like the tuna melt and unsweetened tea, please”.  She didn’t even know she dodged that bullet…so I left her a huge tip.

A sandwich on a plate with French fries as ser...

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What would you like?


Filed under General Mumblings, Uncategorized

43 responses to “You want fries with that?

  1. Being in the middle of a black mood myself, this blog just ‘hit the spot’. Thanks for saying what I’m sure many of us think, quite often.

    • Oh, I hope you are feeling brighter soon. I think it is a good thing I don’t say what I am thinking most of the time, although I think life would be entertaining if we all did just that (within reason, of course, we shouldn’t say every hateful thing that crosses our minds – at least I shouldn’t!!!)

  2. I love this catalogue of things you’d like. And, honestly, I’m with you on just about every single one–especially the long legs!
    Hope your mood brightens soon!

  3. Tuna melts are good. Dark moods are not. I know just how you feel. Nothing I could BS at you would make it better, so I’ll just leave it at that! Empathy matters more sometimes – I know from my own dark days when I’d as soon smack someone than hear their reasons I should be happy!

    • Thanks – mood has much improved. There are many times when people say things like “Can I get you anything” or “Is there anything else you need” that I feel a burning desire to unleash a torrent like I wrote above. But really, no one deserves to hear all that when they are just trying to do their jobs. I am sure we all have things we’d really like to have, do or see in our lifetimes…

  4. Isn’t this post so true! Sometimes I would like to just stop and smell the roses but life moves so quickly and free time is few and far between. And the moods you speak of, I’ve been there, and they certainly are hard to come out of. Thank you for being open and honest and sharing your post.

    • Thanks for coming by, Fraha. Life does speed by so quickly and so much of it is spent doing things that must be done as opposed to things we’d like to do. Sigh…

  5. I think the funk is spreading. I’ve been in one, myself, lately; and, I know others are battling the funk. Spring is around the corner – what’s up with the moods?

    I liked this, K8 – funk or no funk, with fries or without.

    • We have got to snap out of this!!! I used to think that the long, gray days of March in Michigan were the issue, but the unlimited sunshine here hasn’t really made the difference that I was hoping…

      Anyway, I am coming around – feeling like writing again. Who knows, I might even come up with another bad poem or two.

  6. Great wish list — hopefully a few of these will come your way before too long.

  7. I’ll tell you I love this, and I’m cold sober.

  8. Kate, this brought a HUGE smile to my face. thanks. :-D, :-D, :-D, :-D, continue…

  9. I’m in a funk, too. But your post helped lift me out of it a bit. Thank you.

    • Snap out of it woman!! You have blog posts to write. Your adoring fans will soon be clamoring for more…I’ve voted for your entry in the Jacket contest.

      • I appreciate your vote, Katy. I need to snap out of this, you’re right. Nothing a little wine or chocolate later can’t cure (but not both, otherwise migraine disaster waiting to happen…)

        • Oh, I know all too well the pain of excess and/or combination of chocolate and wine – wait, is there chocolate wine? Would that work?

          Hope you perk up…I so look forward to your writing.

      • Oh, yeah. There’s chocolate wine! Great, now I have to stop at the store tomorrow…

        And I look forward to your writing as well, always perks me up.

  10. I know the feeling all too well. I hope writing and posting this blog helped. I know writing out my feelings always, almost always, helped me.

    Nothing lasts forever. Not this. Not that. That bit of Zen wisdom got me through a lot of “this” and “that” times. May it help you, too.

  11. The writing often does lift the darkness. Just getting it out in one way or another seems to help. Glad you were able to hold back from sharing with the “server” so that you could share with us.
    And yum! The tuna melt does look good!

  12. I have often wanted to reply in a similar vein. Thanks for verbalizing.

    • Worse yet is to be asked in a meeting what I think of an idea or proposal…many times I have a mini-rant on the tip of my tongue but have, blessedly, been given an edit button for the circuit between the thought and the mouth.

  13. Awesome post. I’m almost never in a dark mood, and yet I want EXACTLY the same thing. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

    • I think basically we probably all want the same things – sanity; less pressure, sadness, and pain; more time to enjoy precious moments; more opportunities to share joy…and seeing our ideals played out in real life. I think we’d all like to drink from that punchbowl.

  14. I know EXACTLY the mood you mean. Well articulated. I usually can’t past “I’d like more good, less bad. Fix mistakes.”

  15. B R I L L I A N T.

    I soooooooooo love this post.

    —About the bitchin’ heels.

    Go put some on this MOMENT and kick some ass! 🙂 xxx

    • After 2 foot surgeries and 2 broken ankles my days of bitchin’ heels are over for good. Unless I just want to put them on and not try to stand up.

  16. I’m having what you’re having. Brilliant!

  17. I wish more people would give answers like this, honestly. One of my ex-boyfriends was extremely socially awkward in his own interactions, but perceptive and attuned to others’ interactions. One time he asked if I realized how much of my conversation was “scripted”–the kind of stuff said without thinking that’s easy because it’s so often said. After he pointed that out, I started listening to conversations more and appreciating the parts that came from the heart instead of from a script, even if the stuff from the heart was a little more unruly.

    • I know, sometimes I spend so much time trying to frame a response, or even a question, in just the right way. Tamping down emotions because, really, only a very few people could listen to something like that in a public setting and not feel a little uncomfortable.

  18. Excellent observations, all of them. As a parent who heard the words, “your child has cancer”, I know how wonderful it would be if cancer wasn’t part of any child’s life.
    (And I would really like to be tall, too.)

    • I am sorry your child endured that horrible disease. Being tall would be so awesome, even if just for 1 day.

      • I think that is why I married a tall man. He helps me to look at the world from a tall perspective.
        Having a child with cancer gave us a new perspective too, and we all were better people for having had that opportunity.

  19. You are a lady who knows what she wants……and that there is a very good list of wants. You deserve it.

  20. This gave me a real good feeling – of not being the only one. Ya know – there are just times like that. The second thought when I wake up is “May I have a happy day” because the unhappy ones used to be at the top. They are going way down on the list. Somehow, they do weasel their way up, where they don’t belong. I love your mental play. What you wanted to say – but – did not. Very cool …..!!!!
    Chin up ,

  21. Well, I’m a sober stranger… Nice post!

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