You know those “World Famous” chocolate chip cookies that everyone raves about? Yes, the ones made from the recipe on yellow package of semi-sweet chips? Yes, those. Everyone loves those, right? Blech. Pfffft. Ack. (Cue screeching brake sounds and audible gasps.)
Yes, you heard me right. Blech. Those flattened out, greasy little blobs look like something you might find lying about in a cow pasture. A colossal waste of raw cookie dough (salmonella, be damned!!!!). They taste unfinished, somehow, and greasy. I prefer my chocolate chip cookies to be light, fluffy, and soft.
This top secret recipe has been shared before, but only a few times. Invariably, everyone with whom I have shared the recipe accuses me of leaving out an ingredient or two, or of not giving good directions. What is eventually revealed, however, is that the world-class cookie-baker-wannabe has changed up the recipe in an effort to save time, labor, or calories. DON’T DO IT. Also, get a meat fork to stab those family members who will invariably be hovering about the kitchen waiting for you to turn your back so they can steal the raw dough from your bowl. Or stealthily obscond with warm-from-the-oven-cookies until the batch you promised for the office potluck numbers in single digits.
So, here we go. For those cookie purists who insist on using butter, messing up 3 or 4 bowls in the process of making cookies, and those who insist on making substitutions – if you try this recipe and insist on doing it your way – don’t yell at me.
K8EDID’S TOP SECRET – WORLD FAMOUS SOFT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Bring ingredients to room temperature.
1 cup margarine (I can hear you cookie “must use butter” purists groaning – Stop it!!)
2/3 cup packed light brown sugar
2/3 cup granualated sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp baking powder
3 large eggs
2 Tbsp water
3 3/4 cups flour
12 oz semi sweet chocolate pieces
Beat room temperature margarine with a mixer until pale and fluffy. Add brown sugar and beat thoroughly. Add granualted sugar and beat thoroughly. (There is a lot of “beat thoroughly” in this recipe – it is important to make the cookies light and fluffy. The dough will look more like a cake batter at first – just work with me, okay?)
Add vanilla, baking powder, baking soda, water, and salt. Guess what — beat thoroughly. Add eggs, one at a time, beating thoroughly after each egg. Add flour, one cup at a time. Beat with mixer (Yep, thoroughly) after each addition. If you do not have a heavy duty mixer you may want to switch to mixing with a large wooden spoon after the second cup of flour is added – I have burned up more than one hand mixer with this recipe. The dough will be very stiff. Stir in chocolate chips.
Form cookies by rolling heaping tablespoonfuls of dough into a ball. Place on ungreased cookie sheet. Flatten slightly with your hand. Bake in 350 degree oven for 12-13 minutes. Cookies should be pale and fluffy, and when touched will leave a slight indentation. Cool on cookie sheet for 1-2 minutes then cool on rack or clean dish towel. Makes 24 – 28 good sized cookies, depending on how many vultures swiped your dough when you were bent over taking the cookies out of the oven.
If you bake the cookies until they are browned, they will be dry and hard and even your dog will not eat them. Even dunking them in coffee won’t save them. Go ahead and throw them out or take them to work – someone there will eat them – but don’t admit to making them, you have a reputation to uphold, after all.
Preferred by Armadillos everywhere: