Now comes the Plaintiff, k8edid, blogger of approximately 1 year who claims that her relationship with WordPress (defendant) has suffered irreconcilable differences and offers the following evidence:
Exhibit 1 – Defendant has attempted to isolate Plaintiff by repeatedly “misplacing” her subscriptions, repeatedly blocking her access to favorite writers, and sabotaging her access to even her own account during a week when said Plaintiff was attempting to conduct a writing contest.
Exhibit 2 – Defendant has repeatedly ignored Plaintiff’s incredible talent for creating poems, providing kick-ass recipes, and having some highly entertaining post titles; instead recognizing a mind-numbing array of over-enhanced photographs and bland travelogues.
Exhibit 3 – Defendant steadfastly refused to acknowledge efforts of Plaintiff and her cohorts to stage a non-hostile takeover (Better Living Through Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups).
Exhibit 4 – Defendant has refused to provide reliable support to Plaintiff, leaving her with no visible (or virtual) means of support, despite the Plaintiff’s sustained efforts to provide barely entertaining and rarely offensive blog posts.
Now, therefore, WordPress is hereby notified that Plaintiff is seeking relief (having developed a wandering eye due to the inattentive nature of Defendant and failure to provide the e-love and support) and is busily considering alternate relationships. If Defendant wishes to reconcile with k8edid, Plaintiff will consider couple’s counseling, and will be influenced by flowers, chocolate, wine and paid-travel.
Oh, and a freakin’ blogging platform that actually works…