When I Said I Do…

k8edid and Sweet Cheeks – Two Wild and Crazy Kids, circa 1979 (photo credit – my Mom, I think, maybe my sister, I don’t remember).

When I said I do, I meant that I will ’til the end of all time
Be faithful and true, devoted to you…
That’s what I had in mind when I said I do

          – Lyrics – When I Said I Do

by Clint Black

Thirty-three years ago today I said “I do”.  And I meant it.  In the cluttered office of a town judge, with a couple of friends and a couple of German Shepherds as witnesses, we joined our hearts and our lives together.

It hasn’t always been easy, and it hasn’t always been fun, but it has always been the best thing that ever happened to me.  There have been low points, fabulous high points and a lot of mundane times in between that we slogged through side-by-side – sometimes shouldering the load together – sometimes depending on the other to be stronger, tougher, more resilient.  There have been disappointments, setbacks, and challenges.  There have been many lessons learned, periods of intense joy, and an abundance of blessings.

A lot has changed in 33 years.  I am no longer the frightened, insecure young woman who needed constant reassurance – but he provides it anyway, showing me each and every day that I am loved, needed, and wanted.  He endures my moods, laughs at my jokes, devours every word I write and believes in me in everything that I do.

He is not perfect.  He has a preoccupation with sports that is beyond annoying.  The sound of his chewing makes me want to pick up a steak knife  and do some damage to his lateral pterygoid (his manners are impeccable, but his jaw muscles just make so much noise when he chews that I want to scream).  He snores, can’t cook, and his handwriting is legendary in its illegibility.  But in the ways that matter – he is a rock star.

I know that I’m not perfect, either.  I am perpetually cynical, sporadically foul-mouthed, incredibly impatient, and occasionally passive-aggressive.   Okay, maybe more than occasionally.  I sometimes take advantage of his easy-going nature, and a lot of my “jokes” are at his expense.  I like to be right.  And I like to be told that I’m right.  Repeatedly.  Am I right?

I do not know how many more years we will have together, but I know they will not be enough.  I hope he knows that today, and everyday, I meant what I said that afternoon so many years ago.  I do.  And I will.

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66 Comments

Filed under General Mumblings

66 responses to “When I Said I Do…

  1. Wow! Congratulations! And the beauty of your message leaves me tingling with emotion!

  2. Congratulations! I just took a break from my anniversary post (26) to read yours. Isn’t it an amazing journey?

  3. I have tears in my eyes. Happy anniversary, you two crazy kids! I love this post and that photo.
    (oh…and yes, you are right. Always.)

  4. Congratulations and Happy Anniversary.

  5. You are right all the time. That is my anniversary present to you. Happy Anniversary!

  6. Congrats and happy anniversary, it was our 46th anniversary to weeks ago 🙂

  7. May your next 33 years be filled with love and fun. Congrats!

  8. Congratulations, Katy…quite an accomplishment…you did good!

  9. Kathy

    Happy anniversary. So thankful my children get to see how wonderful your marriage is. Love you both.

  10. Thanks, Kathy…we love you, too.

  11. In this day and age of disposable…well everything, it is good to see something that has stood the test of time. Many happiness’s and blessings! And many more years 😉

    • Thanks, Kathy. I don’t know whether we’ve stood the test of time or just been too stubborn to admit defeat sometimes!! Either way – we are glad we’ve toughed it out.

  12. German Shepherds are the best witnesses to wedding vows.

    Happy Anniversary!

  13. Nancy

    Congrats to you and SC!!! Your story is so similar to ours, and funny, but Bryan’s LOUD chewing drives me C-R-A-Z-Y!!!!! 😀 However, we both know how lucky we are to have each other, and although we both can forget that from time to time, we both married our best friends, and we remain best friends to this day. We’re one year less than you guys-we were married in 1980 in December. Here’s to many more happy and healthy years ahead for all of us!

    • I know he can’t help the sounds his jaw makes when he chews but you’re right – it drives me crazy. And now that we are empty-nesters, it is quiet at the dinner table (usually) so it just sounds so much louder.

      I hope you and B have many, many more anniversaries.

  14. Congratulations on beating the odds and finding a true life partner! Hope you are feeling better…

  15. Awwww. Happy anniversary.

  16. I am thrilled to know you had German Shepherds at your side when you made your vows. Katy, I think it will go down that dogs are the secret to successful marriages. (smile)
    Your post and your words … I could have written each and every one of the words. I am grateful to know there is someone out there that knows it still works, even when it isn’t working. (if that makes any sense.)

    • Well, they weren’t my German Shepherds, they were the family pets of the judge who performed the ceremony. But they made a nice addition, none the less.

      Sometimes when the sledding is a little rough is exactly when you need to hold on tighter, re-evaluate the course you’re on, and trust that you’ll get to the bottom of the hill together. You don’t learn much about yourself or your partner when everything is hunky-dory. But we learn and grow through diversity and challenge…so I understand exactly what you mean.

  17. How perfect a tribute is that! Am I right!
    Wishing you both many many more happy and annoying years.

  18. A 33 yr. old decision, is a pretty good decision. Happy Anniversary! If you hear mariachis blaring their trumpets, it’s Mexican Independence Day too.

  19. This is so lovely, because it’s about real life and real love. Congratulations to both of you – it sounds like you have been equally blessed. Here’s to 33 more!

  20. Today marks 24 years for myself and hubby. What a journey life has been! I’m so glad we are living our dreams together. Your post is wonderful 🙂

  21. Congratulations! 33 years is a long time, but seems short when it is with the right person. We are the lucky ones. Way to go!

  22. Awwww, this made me smile! Congratulations on the many good years you’ve had together, and here’s hoping for many more!

    • Thanks, El. When we had been married 20 years, my husband bought me an anniversary band with 10 diamonds in it. I kidded him that there was a diamond for each “good” year of the 20.

  23. Please tell me your husband still wears the same mustache and glasses.

    • Aren’t those great??? He still has the mustache, although it is trimmed a little closer and has a few white whiskers in it – the glasses, no way…Our kids got a great kick out of that photo.

  24. I am glad I waited till just right this minute to read this! Congratulations, on making it this far, on being right.

  25. Congratulations. A lovely piece of writing about your life together.

  26. I love Happy Anniversary stories!
    When it comes to husbands, I always think of the quote, “It is better to dance with the devil you know than the one you don’t.”

    • Oh, that’s the truth.

      I love happy anniversary stories, too. I realize many people don’t get married or stay married, but it is important to me, and worth the time, energy and effort required to not only survive, but thrive in that commitment.

  27. Congratulations! And here’s to many more years ahead for you guys to share. 🙂

  28. Aren’t you amazed how it seems like yesterday…inspite of the trials and tribulation…and the best day of your life days….Here’s to another great week,,,,on day at a time to make it a life time journey together. Bless on you and yours!

  29. C O N G R A T S !!!!
    FAaaaaaaaaabulous Xx

  30. Hubby & I hit #17 this summer. And this year has been particularly difficult. He wouldn’t like for me to confess this on y own blog, so I will seek refuge here on your page. I have considered leaving this year. But I take those vows seriously. And I believe in slogging. And I know there are ebbs and flows. So thank you for writing this. Congratulations and I hope to be where you are at #33: to have finally found a place of peace. Sometimes I think I am a wild, blue horse. I am a bit unusual, rigid, impossible to tame, and had so business in marrying.

    And yet.

    He still makes me laugh. When he’s not here, I look for him. When it’s good, it’s very good. So I’m hoping we’re on an upswing and that a lot of this has to do with the fact that we have a new teenager in the house. 😉

    • Oh, my heavens, do I ever know that of which you speak. I tell people the only reason we are still married is that we both did not ever want to call it quits at the same time. We both take our vows seriously, and that makes it easier to slog through the tough times. I do not think people should stay together, come hell or high-water, because there are deal-breakers, for sure. Truth is, probably MOST of us shouldn’t even consider marriage. I pray you’ll make it. I think a lot of couples feel extreme pressure during the teen years but a sense of humor and honoring commitment will get you through. Thanks so much for stopping in and sharing your thoughts.

  31. Wait. Your husband laughs at your jokes? I KNEW I needed to upgrade… thank gawd for second husbands.

    But seriously. Every time you talk about your hub, I feel the love radiating off the screen. CONGRATULATIONS and here’s to many more years together – with you always being right!

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