I lay facing my sleeping husband in the bright moonlight. It was nearly as bright in the room as if we’d left a light on. As usual, at least one part of our bodies was touching…no matter the size of the bed, we found each other. In this case our knees were touching. I stared into his face – so brightly illuminated, and listened to his gentle snores.
I traced his features with my fingertips, over and over, as if trying to memorize them. The scars from skin cancer removals and drunken teenage car wrecks…the wiry eyebrows I had promised to trim but somehow had neglected to find the time to attend to. The smooth upper lip that had carried the moustache for so many years that I loved – but that he had come to hate. The lips I had kissed countless times. I knew every pore, every scar, every inch but I kept tracing, studying, reveling in his face so close to mine. He opened his eyes briefly and looked into mine. “You’ll never forget me” he said and gently kissed me…and we fell asleep.
Thirty-six hours later I lay next to my husband in the grassy median of I-80 in Nebraska, under a clear blue sky in the warm sunshine, as paramedics worked frantically over him. I held his hand and looked for the last time at the face I had loved so much for so many years. I whispered my goodbye, and promised never to forget. And I never will.
20 responses to “I. Will. Never. Forget.”
Oh Katy, I’m so sorry. I don’t know when this happened, but I wish you peace.
It’s been 2 weeks, I think peace is a long way off, but I know it will come.
Oh I am so very sorry. It sounded like it happened years ago.
This song has comforted me so very much through my losses. I think of my sisters as a mockingbird and a Carolina wren, my mother as a finch, and my dad as a pheasant.
May you soon think of him with more smiles than tears.
There are hummingbirds that visit me each day, and I think it is Scott checking on me. I will check out the video.
Katy, oh Katy, I’m so, so sorry. I’m crying at my desk, mourning your loss and your love which you will never lose. Please let me know if there is anything I can do. You and your family are in my prayers.
Thank you, love. I know I will get through it, I just don’t know how right now. Prayers and loving thoughts are much appreciated.
Katy, I am deeply sorry. I wish there were words I could say to bring you peace and comfort. I wish I could reach through this computer and give you a hug as you grieve. We are all here for you and sending you love. If you need anything, or to just talk, I’m here for you.
I’m so sorry. There are no words. Sending thoughts of strength and live.
No, you never will. That’s certain. I am so very sorry for your loss.
oh Katy, I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending love and strength.
I’m so very sorry. I wish there were something more useful to say, but of course there isn’t. Just know there’s a stranger in Washington whose heart aches for you right now. If you need to talk, I’m here.
Katy, I’m so very sorry for the loss of your husband. You have my deepest sympathy and hopes that you find peace again in the coming days ahead.
Although I was momentarily happy to see your blog name pop up on my WordPress Reader, I got a chill when I saw the title and photo. I am so sorry about your loss!
A touching tribute to you both – I’m so sorry for your loss.
Peg’s sister Tar here. My deepest condolences on the loss of your beloved. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!
Somehow I haven’t seen your blog recently and this has sat in my email a couple days. I finally opened it to see this. I add my thoughts to everyone else here. Mays angels hug you and comfort you when you need it.
Oh Katy i’m so very very sorry for you. It will be hard over the next few months but as I know (from twice happenings) it will get easier to face each day without your love. You’ll never forget him and so keep the memories safely with you wherever you go. Lots of love from the other side of the world.
I hadn’t seen your blog in my e mails for a very long time. When I saw the title of this blog and your name I thought you were returning to blogging.
I never expected to read this very sad post. I’m extrememly sorry for your loss. There are no words that could begin to express how I wish it weren’t what I read. Please find comfort in the knowledge that you are not alone. His arms are surrounding you and bringing you serenity to ease your pain.
May your heart heal and find solace in the memories you will forever have.
Blessings to you,
p.s. if at any time you feel the need for companionship, I am here to meet you at Fisherman’s Viallge for that. God Bless … 🙏🏻
I wish I had seen this earlier, but please know that there are people out here that have never met you and yet have been your friends and grieve for your pain.
I’m so sorry. A lot of people are praying and pulling for you Katy.