Tag Archives: beauty

If I Said You Have a Beautiful Body Would You Hold it Against Me?

My apologies to the Bellamy Brothers, country music fans, and beautiful people everywhere for that title.

In my acceptance of the Versatile Blogger Award, bestowed upon me by 5 people whom I admire greatly, I listed 7 things about myself.  The first was “I love everything about the human body”.

I have always had a fascination with human anatomy and although I did not become a nurse until later in life, I studied everything I could get my hands on that dealt with medicine, health, and bodily functions.  I grew up on a farm and never suffered squeamishness for any of the aspects of farm life (birth, death, reproduction).  I loved animals and caring for animals, but my true fascination was with humans.

I enjoy anatomy.  I love saying the correct anatomical names for body parts.  Amygdala.  Corpus luteum. Gastrocnemius. Aqueous humor. Hypothalamus. Frenulum. Uvula. Conjunctiva.  I also enjoy listening to patients use slang terms to describe their anatomy, and I think I’ve heard them all.

I love looking at bodies, from the moist pink sweetness of newborns to the crinkled saggy skin and atrophied limbs of the frail elderly.  I love bodies.  All sizes, shapes, and configurations.  I love admiring a strong healthy specimen as much as the next person,  but what others may consider grotesque fascinates me. Extremes of body make-up – body builders, anorexics, morbidly obese – I can look at them without judgement, and admire the miracle that is the vessel that holds their being.

The organs that make up the various systems of the body are so wondrous to me. How marvelous that sound waves can strike a membrane that vibrates some bones that result in a concerto, a baby’s first words, or the cry of a loon.  Waves of light strike the back of our eyes and we see a sunrise, the panorama of the Grand Canyon, or a delicate flower.   Through our skin with its billions of nerve endings we can feel the caress of a lover, the warmth of the sun and the coolness of a gentle breeze.  How wonderful that our bodies can take in substances of the earth and specialized organs tell cells to extract the exact nutrients we need and dispose of the rest.  How wonderful that our hearts pump life sustaining fluid to all of our cells; that our lungs take in the atmosphere and supply our bodies with oxygen needed to survive.  Our brains and spinal cords, neurons and synapses, working in conjunction with every other system to coordinate movement, thought, action, procreation.

In retrospect, I guess that I probably don’t really love the by-products of the human body.  As a nurse, I’ve suffered every imaginable bodily fluid or secretion and although I have to say I don’t enjoy them, I am not repulsed by them, either.  It just is.  Part of the job, part of the price for the wonder that is the body human.

What really and truly causes me to have a gut-clenching, breath-robbing reaction is the effect of trauma, abuse or neglect for those bodies I love so dearly.  I cared for a young man once who was jumped outside of a bar in the early morning hours.  One punch to the face and he went down, striking his head on the pavement.  He never regained consciousness.  I’ve seen gunshot wounds, amputations, surgical debacles, and elderly abuse victims.  Motor vehicle accidents (face-vs-windshield – guess which wins?).  Strokes and heart attacks – ravages of disease.  Through it all, I have retained my love of the bodies that bring the patients to me, that house their souls and personas, their beings and in the end relinquish it all at their passing.

So, if I said you have a beautiful body – please believe me.  I mean it.

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At the end of the day…

UPDATE:  I found a few more sunsets, and last night’s was particularly lovely, so I am adding them.

Sometimes, at the end of the day, all you have is the end of the day.  I am rejoining the work force today.  I shall actually have to use my brain for something besides on-line scrabble, Sudoku, blogging, and clever repartee with my dog.  Don’t laugh.

Therefore, I am posting some of my favorite sunset pictures taken on various travels.  Enjoy.

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Sponsors I Won’t Be Seeking

CLAIROL

I probably need Miss Clairol more than most people my age.  I have white hair.  I have gone beyond salt and pepper – that was in my 30s. I found my first gray hairs at 16.  I plucked them out.  It soon became apparent that this would not be a good long-term strategy.  So I colored.  I have had every hair color known to mankind not found in nature, except for the blues, greens, purples and magentas.

I have thick, white, goofy hair. It grows very fast.  If I did decide to color it again, I would have to touch it up every few days.  I’m far too busy (read – too lazy) for that.  If it bothers you, please look away.  I’ve come to accept it, along with everything else that makes me – ME.

COLON CLEANSE

Not only will I not seek their sponsorship, neither do I need their services.  My colon cleanses itself every morning, sometimes five or six times before I leave the house. A long morning commute is not a good idea for me.  If you look in the dictionary under “regularity” you’ll find my picture (you’ll recognize me by my white hair).  We’re good.

AHH BRA

I have spent many hours and dollars attempting to find a comfortable, supportive undergarment for the upper region.  I am here to tell you that this product is not it.  I got six in the mail.  Maybe, MAYBE, if I put all six on at once there might have been a HINT of support, the fabric was so thin as to be see-through.  The design could only work if supplemented with massive amounts of DUCT TAPE.  It is not easy being a size 40 LONG  and these bras do absolutely nothing for a generous bustline.  I looked like I was sporting a couple of cantaloupe in a pair of wind socks. In a paradox not understood by anyone, I have lost 25 pounds and gained a cup size.  Go figure.

WEIGHT WATCHERS

Speaking of losing weight, I simply cannot stand to attend Weight Watchers meetings.  The leaders they hire have got to be the some of the worst public speakers I have ever met. So far as I can tell, their only qualification is that they must have lost weight with Weight Watchers and kept it off.

I NEED Weight Watchers, but I just can’t stomach the commercialized meetings and mindless crap spewed by members.  The handwritten flip charts are so tacky from a corporation that has bilked billions from desperate wanna-be losers.

It seems ridiculous to me  to assign an artificial value (POINTS, or now, POINTS PLUS) to foods when learning about real nutritional values makes more sense.  Ironically, Weight Watchers does have a program that espouses whole grains, lean proteins and minimally processed  whole foods.  They just don’t promote it (Simply Filling Technique).  Apparently, the program that lets you eat M&Ms and Little Debbies as long as you still have points left over is good enough for most people.  I’m working with www.nutritionmirror.com and my own workouts for now…with pretty good success.

BOTOX

I am constantly surprised by the twists and turns of life, but I do not wish to look as though I am constantly surprised.  The unwrinkled forehead, to me, is not a good look.  These forehead wrinkles I’m carrying allow me to look as though I am deep in thought, without ever actually having to be deep in thought.  What could be better!!!

I spent 10 years as a nursing home inspector and met a lot of elderly people.  Some of the most beautiful faces (to me, anyway) were leathered, lined, crinkled and wrinkled.  Those faces had character, reflected joy and sorrow, showed both hope and acceptance.  I only hope to possess that much beauty one day.

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Filed under General Mumblings, humor