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I’ve spent a couple of days without Internet. That is never good, especially for my interwebz-addicted husband. What I have had, instead, is a pretty good fever, hovering just under 102 degree Fahrenheit. I like to type Fahrenheit.
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Anyway, my fever-addled brain has come up with some interesting(?) thoughts. For instance:
What if my dog can smell a tumor but can’t tell me?
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What if more basketball really is the answer?
Do ions know whether they are negative or positive? Do they try to change?
What if I tried match.com and got matched up with my first husband?
match.com - Make Love Happen (Photo credit: bixentro)
What if I tried match.com and found out my current husband was trying out match.com, as well? Awkward, no? And what if we weren’t a perfect match?
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Wouldn’t it be cool if cars could talk? I don’t mean in the parking lot, to each other….I mean to you, their owner. It could go like this “good morning, Katy, you look lovely this morning.” See, so far, so good. “What, you forgot breakfast again? The drive-though? Again? Look, you didn’t even clean up the last mess you made eating in here. I’m getting a little tired of your trying to manuever us through this crazy traffic with a McMuffin in one hand and cup of coffee in the other….” On second though, not such a good idea.
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Wouldn’t it be cool to take the aspirin that jackass was talking about (you know, the one that was talking about birth control and said an aspirin between the ladies’ knees was effective birth-control?) Yeah, that jackass (Foster Friess). Take some aspirin (still in the bottle) and place it forcefully into his meatus. Look it up if you must, but I think that would take care of his birth control needs for a little while.
Why does my dog bark at butterflies and birds but never even twitched her ears when the Comcast guy got out of his truck, knocked on the door, and entered our home?
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Why does the Comcast guy look like a 14 year old Justin Bieber?
Where DO broken hearts go?
Why did they call the wind Mariah?
When will that tylenol kick in?
What is that metallic taste? Why is there a spoon in my mouth?
Why do ice chips sound wonderful after surgery but not so much when suggested as a main entree?
Is it “feed a fever and starve a cold”, or “starve a fever and feed a cold”? I can never remember.
Have you got any ice cream?
Why don’t I just put this laptop down for now and get another 18 hours of sleep?
