Tag Archives: greeting cards

K8EDID’s Incredibly Tasteless Greeting Cards

I'm sure my next career will be writing verses for these. Photo credit: Wikipedia

Recently I penned this little ditty for Darla, over at She’s A Maineiac  to use in a greeting card she could hand to her husband during one of their “discussions”.

I love you, dear
And I don’t want to fight.
But if you can’t help or listen
Get out of my sight.

Darla is an award winning author and proud owner of the coveted “Green Jacket”.    She has even done her own  Greeting Card Post If you haven’t visited her site – go now.  I’ll wait. 

Zzzzzzzzz.  Snort.  Cough.  Okay, Okay.  I’m glad you could tear youself away…I didn’t think you were going to spend the whole day over there, but hey, I understand (sniff, sniff).  She’s good (sigh).  What? You have to go? Nooooooooooooooooo….

I am in a particularly funky rhyming mood, so I thought I would take this opportunity to offer to write a little ditty for any greeting cards you may need.  Also, I would do just about anything to avoid finishing my taxes, cleaning the house, or exercising.

Just post your request in the comment section and I’ll see if I can whip up a little rhyme for your greeting card (Stick figure illustrations available for a nominal fee or chocolate, preferably dark, preferably not an earless hollow chocolate bunny).

Here are just a few examples:

FOR MY DOG:

Snoring Dog during the day, fierce protector by night. Photo credit: k8edid

I love you Shelby

You know that’s right.

But you’re shelter-bound

If you keep barking all night.

FOR THE IRS:

Form 1040A, 2005, page 2

Form 1040A, 2005, page 2 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

  

Listen, Jerks.

This isn’t funny.

Quit screwing around

And send back my money.

FOR THE EASTER BUNNY:

 Thanks for the candy

It went straight past my lips.

Now it will spend

Twenty years on my hips.

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Filed under General Mumblings, humor, Poems, Poetry and Poem-etry